The Biggest Lie You Tell Yourself
If I traveled back in time to visit myself from 2 years ago and described this day to her...? She never in a million years would have believed me.
“Holly, two years from now you will wake up at 5am. You will hand write 4 pages of journaling. You will do a virtual dance workout recorded in Stockholm, Sweden with 4000 attendees. You'll shower. You'll make coffee. You'll get on a Zoom meeting with 30 people from all over the world to move, meditate, and journal. You will virtual eye gaze with a stranger for 2 minutes.
You'll be sober.
You will have finally quit your job.
You'll be overwhelmed by some random emotions in the middle of the day and let yourself cry.
You will spend your Friday night in a virtual breathwork session with 200 other people from all over the world.
You'll journal some more.
You'll write this summary.”
She wouldn't have believed a word of it.
Breathwork? Dance workouts? Meditation? Emotions? Journaling? Fuck that. Fuck all of that.
But... she was in a bad spot two years ago. She didn't know what was coming.
It was around two years ago now that I picked up The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer and became aware of the voice in my head. The one that has something to say about everything.
And I learned it wasn't me.
I'm the one listening to it. Giving it the power to create stress and torment in my own life.
In the last two years I've also learned that I don't have to listen. It's a pattern. A program. I can learn to turn the volume down. I can change my own brain so that the pattern loses it's power.
And it doesn't take much.
But the thing about change is no one else is going to do it for me. I have to really want it for myself.
I had to be willing. I had to take personal ownership and responsibility for ME and all of my decisions, choices, and actions.
What am I responsible for? What am I tolerating in my life that I am no longer willing to tolerate? What am I willing to do about it?
Many of us will go to the grave still listening to the program that repeats, “You'll be happy when...”
This is the biggest lie of them all and it will keep us small. It will keep us drunk. It will keep us asleep until we question it.
I try to live every day as if it's my last. Can I treat each moment as if it will never happen again?
If I were to die in my sleep tonight... what would I regret?
What words did I not express? Who did I not appreciate? What actions did I not take?
Who may not know that I love them?
What kind of ripple did I leave behind?
I'm not responsible for anyone but myself. I can't control anyone else. I can't fix anyone else. I can’t heal anyone else.
But I can take radical ownership and responsibility for ME.
So what can YOU do to start questioning the program running 24/7 in YOUR head that creates all your stress?
You're the only one that knows what is going on inside of yourself.
You may be surprised to find out just how much you're depriving yourself by letting that record play.
Taking your power back is as simple as recognizing you have a choice. You always have a choice, even when it feels like everything is completely out of your control.
You get to choose your response. Your actions. Your part. You get to choose.
Don't forget that. <3
